If I am being unfair to you, I am so sorry
Every minute, every hour that I know I am not with you, I go crazy
Feeling I am supposed to be there, but I am not. I will not be.
I know we are supposed to be friends, but I can't be friends with someone I deeply loved.
I will just fall over and over again
And I will just hurt myself more
I need to protect myself, I thought I can do it with us being friends
But not, I can't, my heart can't, my mind can no longer tolerate
This is my sorry letter to you
I am so sorry I am doing this
I need myself, my sanity and my heart intact
I cannot do this with you around
You somehow could change my sanity in a blink of an eye
You are far more insane mind you but you somehow make me make up our gap
I am not putting the blame on you
This is on me
I am sorry for putting more distance between us
You are doing the right thing, keep on doing it
I need this distance
I am so sorry for being selfish
In time, when you realize it - what I've done - I hope you forgive me
I have the best intentions
Anyway, I still care I just don't show it, I hope you will get more better
I hope and wish you all the best
Also, I wish you wisdom
To learn and to accept things easily
The world is not against you and it won't be in a million gazillion years
Always take care of yourself, I wish you find someone who will take care and will love you more than I could
And I wish, by the day he/she comes you will be man enough not to let her/him (whatever your preference will be) go.
And you will do it because of the thought of not having him/her for the rest of your life kills you.
I hope this will be my last post about you
I will be moving on from now on
I am so ready
Please wish me well
Till we meet again
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Friday, September 07, 2012
Absentmindfulness
I know I've been a klutzy girl ever since the world began. I've been trying different approach to things to prevent the world from me being a klutz. So, now, the inevitable is happening again, my klutz self is back, with a vengeance. How so? Let me count the ways.
Saturday - Sept 1, 2012
Saturday is my badminton day, but I usually prepare my things in the morning because I go for a run on a Friday night. So Sat morning, I unpack my running things and load my badminton gear. Then, I left home and rode the FX to Welcome and then took a nap. Upon, waking up at Sto Domingo church (which was about 1km away from the court) I remembered not packing the darned shoes. I checked my bags, I know I did not have it in, but still checked it anyway (a miracle may happen perhaps) but NO it wasn't there. So boohoo, I went home and got my shoes.
Monday - Sept 3, 2012
In between days, I try to go for a run. So this Monday, I decided to run. Since I will be taking home the pick up service, I chose to run at the nearby running area I could get. Since Eric was the last man on board, I decided to run near his place, the Marikina Sports Plaza.
I am already excited in running to this place, since this is a first for me. So, upon reaching the cr, I went for a pee first then remembered something, I FORGOT MY FRIGGIN SHORTS. Yeah you read that right, I forgot it again. Earlier this day, I remembered getting the shorts from the clothesline, since I washed it the day before. But, again, I forgot. Good thing though, there were stores outside the center that have cheap shorts (I even bought an extra cycling shorts for 38php good deal eh? - but this is not what we're talking about aren't we? hehe). So, I still ran. Good heavens.
Tuesday - Sept 4, 2012
I know I am a good driver, I am good in estimating distances, when to go fast, when to go slow, how to park etc. But this day, wasn't so me. I ate somewhere before going home, and in order for me to leave the place, I have to back up to the highway. I wasn't able to check the car on my side. The driver already horned the hell out of his wits but I still did not stop. Good thing, the wheel only scratched a portion of the driver's side door. As in, no depth scratch about 4 inches in length. I gave him my license number and calling card just in case. Stupid stupid me.
Wednesday - Sept 5, 2012.
So, the absentmindedness streak begins. I decided not to drive after returning the pick up to the office. Good thing, Kuya Ric took the service and fetched the calibrators. I know I am not so safe on road. And I am feeling a little woozy starting Tuesday (this may be due to the long commute to and from the office, I am at Bicutan office). Anyway, this is not the story, in the afternoon, I went to the head office for a meeting. Then, worked there for a while, went for the gym and head straight home. Upon reaching home, I realized I forgot the following:
1. Nokia Charger at the Bicutan Plant Office
2. My favorite Jacket at Aggregates Office Room
3. Mouse at Aggregates Office Room
Good thing I'm on leave starting yesterday till today. I really need to catch up with myself. I think I am doing way too much stuff that I could not handle. I can't seem to remember the little things. I wish I could just forget some memories to make way for these. Sigh.
Oh well, this is life. I have to make a way to improve this. Cross fingers!
Saturday - Sept 1, 2012
Saturday is my badminton day, but I usually prepare my things in the morning because I go for a run on a Friday night. So Sat morning, I unpack my running things and load my badminton gear. Then, I left home and rode the FX to Welcome and then took a nap. Upon, waking up at Sto Domingo church (which was about 1km away from the court) I remembered not packing the darned shoes. I checked my bags, I know I did not have it in, but still checked it anyway (a miracle may happen perhaps) but NO it wasn't there. So boohoo, I went home and got my shoes.
Monday - Sept 3, 2012
In between days, I try to go for a run. So this Monday, I decided to run. Since I will be taking home the pick up service, I chose to run at the nearby running area I could get. Since Eric was the last man on board, I decided to run near his place, the Marikina Sports Plaza.
I am already excited in running to this place, since this is a first for me. So, upon reaching the cr, I went for a pee first then remembered something, I FORGOT MY FRIGGIN SHORTS. Yeah you read that right, I forgot it again. Earlier this day, I remembered getting the shorts from the clothesline, since I washed it the day before. But, again, I forgot. Good thing though, there were stores outside the center that have cheap shorts (I even bought an extra cycling shorts for 38php good deal eh? - but this is not what we're talking about aren't we? hehe). So, I still ran. Good heavens.
Tuesday - Sept 4, 2012
I know I am a good driver, I am good in estimating distances, when to go fast, when to go slow, how to park etc. But this day, wasn't so me. I ate somewhere before going home, and in order for me to leave the place, I have to back up to the highway. I wasn't able to check the car on my side. The driver already horned the hell out of his wits but I still did not stop. Good thing, the wheel only scratched a portion of the driver's side door. As in, no depth scratch about 4 inches in length. I gave him my license number and calling card just in case. Stupid stupid me.
Wednesday - Sept 5, 2012.
So, the absentmindedness streak begins. I decided not to drive after returning the pick up to the office. Good thing, Kuya Ric took the service and fetched the calibrators. I know I am not so safe on road. And I am feeling a little woozy starting Tuesday (this may be due to the long commute to and from the office, I am at Bicutan office). Anyway, this is not the story, in the afternoon, I went to the head office for a meeting. Then, worked there for a while, went for the gym and head straight home. Upon reaching home, I realized I forgot the following:
1. Nokia Charger at the Bicutan Plant Office
2. My favorite Jacket at Aggregates Office Room
3. Mouse at Aggregates Office Room
Good thing I'm on leave starting yesterday till today. I really need to catch up with myself. I think I am doing way too much stuff that I could not handle. I can't seem to remember the little things. I wish I could just forget some memories to make way for these. Sigh.
Oh well, this is life. I have to make a way to improve this. Cross fingers!
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