Bipolarity

I took an online test before, this is regarding my psychological state which is something I really am worried about. It turns out, that I am someone with Bipolar Disorder. Well, I didn't know what was it before, I was actually checking whether I was manic depressive, and this is what it turned out.

According to helpmania.com, below is the definition of the disorder:

"Bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression) causes serious shifts in mood, energy, thinking, and behavior–from the highs of mania on one extreme, to the lows of depression on the other. More than just a fleeting good or bad mood, the cycles of bipolar disorder last for days, weeks, or months. And unlike ordinary mood swings, the mood changes of bipolar disorder are so intense that they interfere with your ability to function."

So, this disorder does not only comprise of depression but mania as well. Signs of my mania are very present, if you are someone who's attentive, when I'm in the mood, I usually take the discussion and sweep it. Just like earlier, I was so hyper bugging my cousin, then afterwards I was crying with an episode of Dog whisperer.

I think this is getting worse. I am not coping up with the new experience. I am doing a lot, I am in the other side of it, the mania part. Earlier, after doing my report, left with the unsatisfactory feeling, I jogged for an hour. It was already 10pm when I left the oval.

I am trying not to stress myself at home. I think I am doing the right thing by not stressing myself too much. The only cause of stress for me is my work. This work that I will be quitting soon. I don't know where to go next, and I haven't planned, but i have to get out soon.

Well, see, I am already sleepy and I still am in the mood in writing some more. Haha.. The heck! Well, I just came out of depression so I guess this is the other side if it.

With this, I would really need people who have wider understanding. If people would give me something to be sad about, even if it hurts me, I have to think about my relationship with them. Nowadays, my colleagues are really doing a good job in really comforting me. Not that I asked for it, they gave it instantly. It's sad that people who has the closest proximity would not care to bother to observe and feel this, my biggest flaw.

This is my reality, my curse, a result of what was and will be carrying it for a long time. I accept that I have this. I have to limit my interactions to people probably. If I am right that I am not getting better, I will have to stick with the people who will keep me sane. I will not delete people in my life, I just can't. I'll just interact less, i guess my stupid internet plan has to be used less. Oh my. Nagkayas kayas rag kug kwarta! Hay.

Anyway, I wish myself luck. I'll need that, on the days to come.